Oops...

Once again I learned I cannot be trusted with alcohol and a phone. I do stupid things, like texting the guy who clearly isn't interested anymore and telling him that I wish he had come to my birthday dinner. You would think that I would learn that nothing good ever comes of that kind of thing. I know that I'm coming off as annoying, but I can't seem to stop myself. It's almost like picking a scab. You know you shouldn't, and it hurts, but you do it anyway. Or at least you still really really want to. At least he is leaving for two whole weeks on Friday, and I will have some peace. Or at least some quiet. I might still drive myself crazy, making things up in my head. I'm at the point now where every little thing he does, I read way way too much into it. Any time he looks at me, I am over here putting thoughts into his head, but I can't decide if they're good thoughts or bad ones. And I am making myself crazy, so it will be nice to take a break from all that provocation.